I came across this quote earlier this week when I realized once again that so many of us have a very short fuse these days. After fuming about a particular situation for far too long (picture Allegra wondering why there was smoke coming out of my ears!), it reminded me that the only thing anger ever accomplishes is that it hurts you, not the person or situation you may be angry at.
So rather than stewing in my anger, I refocused my attention on doing a better job with all my usual self-care activities: eating healthy meals, exercising, spending time in nature, meditating, and above all, limiting my news intake even more. The latter is probably the most important, because lately, even just headlines can trigger a hefty dose of pandemic anger for me.
And of course, my self-care includes spending lots of time with Allegra. I know no better antidote to anger and stress than watching my little girl sleep peacefully in a sun puddle with not a care in the world.
Do you find yourself getting angry more than usual lately? How do you cope?
I will preface my comment by stating that this is directed at the “pandemic anger” issue, not at those with harmful anger issues over daily inconsequential things. I think it’s very important to remember that when others don’t behave in the way we wish they would that there is usually a very good reason for it. At least for them, it may not be a good reason in our way of thinking but it is to them. I do not allow for “pandemic anger”. It is absolutley pointless. I feel one way, many others feel another way, this is yet another issue dividing our nation unfortunately. So I focus on taking care of myself, doing what I can for my own health and the health of my family and allowing everyone else the same without anger. And yes, I have cut WAY back on the amount of news I choose to watch on a daily basis!
Anger isn’t bad if directed in the correct direction. If you’re angry at the garage door don’t take it out on the garbage can. If you’re angry because someone told a lie about you then meet with them to discuss just that incidence, but don’t end up having a food fight about 20 other items. Sometimes, people don’t want to hear about the issue that made you angry and they’ll interject with many other items just to avoid dealing with the real issue. Anger is a normal behavior and a release, but not when it goes over broad.
My husband gets verbally anger at any little thing. It seems the only time he’s happy is when he’s playing with the rescued kittens. It makes me very anxious when his anger boils so fast and loud. I need suggestions on how to calm every situation.
We are quite fortunate in that “anger” is a relative stranger in our home. “Cat Therapy” is an ongoing condition here as we have 37 cats inside and the diversion and humorous actions with which they provide us is continuous. We recently rescued a six-week-old kitten that had been “dropped off” at one of our feral colonies (an act that in itself is enough to make you angry) and one of our younger males has taken up the mantle of “mentor” and is teaching him the ropes. You can not stay depressed, sad, sullen, or angry when you watch a kitten playing. It is simply impossible. It is a universal therapy.
I had to read this to my husband. He needs to work on his anger. Last night the garage door wouldn’t shut and turned out there is a small trash can out there that got in the way of the sensor. But he got so mad, he was kicking the can and in the end, the can ended up busted and the trash falling out. It got my anxiety up seeing his anger escalate on an item that could have easily been slid over a few inches.